in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
God I need to hump something, right now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
