Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
