So drunk its hurt
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
