He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
