What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
