I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
