I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
