All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
