Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
