I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
