I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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