Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
