My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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