When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
