Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
