Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
