my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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