high people should be assigned attendants
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
