currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
