You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
