Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
