She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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