party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Can I color on your dick again?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
