Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Someone shattered a urinal.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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