my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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