their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
