Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
