Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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