4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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