problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
