Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
