Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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