too bad you live with your parents still
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
