just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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