i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
this boner is exhausting
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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