I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
