Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
