I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
