so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
