i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We got so high we made milksteak
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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