You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
