so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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