I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
