It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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