the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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