That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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