Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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