JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
