She said her name was "party"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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