I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
