why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
