Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
